Jul 9

Jul 9 Getting Overwhelmed - Why Quilting is Therapy (for me)

I am guilty of starting something new before I’ve finished a current project

From what I’ve seen there are many quilters out there who are the same - lots of WIP’s with some quilt tops being finished years, sometimes decades, after they were first started. I have at least one of those projects but that was the intention; it is called the “Project Quilt’ as I intend to use hexies made from the available scrap fabric from a finished project and add it to the quilt thus creating a visual story of projects past.

I also have lots of little ‘ideas’ that I begin to create only to lose steam halfway through and I often wonder if I am setting myself up for failure. Well, not a failure as that’s not something that happens in my quilting world - no, it’s more of a ‘building a mountain too high to climb’ scenario.

At the moment I have several finished quilt tops, some that are in the process of being finished and some have just been started. I also have a collection of patterns to try and templates to use, along with new fabric I have no idea what I will use for but it’s beautiful and I wanted it!

The answer to this problem should be easy: don’t buy any more fabric and/or patterns.

HA! yeah, right. That’s like telling a stationery aficionado to not buy any more planners or washi tape, or a painter not to buy any more paints. But am I creating my own downfall by doing this and adding to my already high anxiety levels?

High Functioning Anxiety

Disclaimer: I am not a health expert. I can only speak about my experiences and if you find you are looking at what I am describing below and feeling connected with it, I will put a few links after the post for some directions on websites to look at for further information.

I have traits that walk parallel with people who have been told they have High Functioning Anxiety. One of those traits manifests in a mad flurry of activity when I have a project I’m working on that I have created for myself. There’s no pattern to follow, I’m just doing it on my own. The beginning is positive and totally involved (think fly-by-seat-of-pants) however as the work goes on that drive fizzles until I leave it halfway through, totally unfinished. I then procrastinate about finishing it and it sits for weeks, months even, waiting to be completed, a dark reminder sitting in a box or on a shelf. I will say this though: when I do get around to finishing the project, the feeling is fabulous!

I am also unbelievably critical of my own work. Although I have been sewing and quilting for several years now, I would never define myself as anything other than a novice. I don’t believe my talent is good, and I get very embarrassed when people tell me otherwise. I tend to dwell on the negative and I look for problems in my work however seeing other quilters work does help to reassure me that I am not a machine so little imperfections are normal.

On the positive side, I am very organized when it comes to making a quilt from a kit. For example, a Lori Holt quilt kit (for example, Vintage Housewife) requires cutting multiple template pieces using a particular fabric and stitching things a particular way. As there is only a fat quarter size piece for every colour or design I have to be really careful with my cuts or I risk messing the whole project up. But I will happily spend hours doing that, no questions asked because I have a clear direction and path to follow.

I am also organized when it comes to keeping track of projects - I have a planner that I use to note what I am working on, what has been finished and, more importantly, what I need to do to turn a WIP into a finished and bound quilt top. Being able to see it written down instead of just looking at the clear storage box with finished tops in it makes a huge difference, for me at least.

So how does quilting help?

High functioning (operating at an elevated level) anxiety has many other characteristics including, but not limited to:

Racing Mind - difficult to relax
Insomnia - usually because of the above-mentioned racing mind
Overly busy, unable to say ‘no’ for fear of disappointing people
If a routine gets disrupted, it causes upset
People-pleasing to create a happy environment - creating a safe and less anxious space even if it’s detrimental to you.
Outgoing personality - outwardly, you’re a very happy person, you smile a lot and tell jokes. Inwardly you’re a mess; nervous habits (e.g. knuckle cracking) worrying about what other people are thinking of you.
Loyal to a fault
Potential for drug or alcohol abuse

There are plenty more characteristics but I would end up writing pages if I named them all. Not every one of these items connects with me though - mine is more of the racing mind, sleepless nights and belittling myself category.

So how does quilting help?

For me, quilting calms my racing mind, it centres my thoughts and brings order to self-created chaos. I focus on the project at hand and I concentrate purely on that which is why I am careful with the projects I choose. This is also something my wonderful husband has recognized and embraced - he ensures I get my quilting time as he understands very well the impact on my health if I’m able to sit for a few hours to decompress.

As mentioned earlier, I have lots of little projects but they help me when I need the right kind of calming. If I want something repetitive I will work on piecing quilt blocks, foundation paper piecing is now my favourite. If I want fun and easy, I will work on an applique project. If I want something repetitive I will do some machine quilting. I am free to work on whatever I like, whenever I need it.

In closing, quilting is my realignment

In answer to my earlier question, am I creating my own downfall, I don’t believe I am simply because I now choose projects I know I will enjoy even if it adds to my growing WIP pile. If I am not having fun, I have learned to accept that and move on rather than try to make it work. I have learned to let go of a project that brought nothing but upset, even when it meant throwing it out completely. I have learned to start small and not overwhelm myself with large projects.

I have also learned to love my hobby - I have made it my own in a way that helps me relax; I have my favourite music or binge-worthy show playing in the background, I have my cup of tea, I work with fabrics that bring me joy and happiness and I choose projects that bring me delight. Sometimes I won’t even sew or quilt - I will just sit and stare at some fabric until I feel happier. I use that precious time to calm my thoughts and then decipher why I feel anxious about a certain event and sometimes that is enough to put that anxiety to bed. Not always, but sometimes.